Avren: An Auxem Novel Read online

  Once we were seated with our drinks, and a server had taken our orders, silence fell over the table. It could have been awkward, but it wasn’t. I felt comfortable.

  “Avren, I have to tell you something.” I continued before he could say a word. “I didn’t plan on coming here with you at all. I was going to tell you no when we were at home. Even though I didn’t get the job with Genetic Futures, I don’t see how I can accept your offer. It’s a bad idea. There are a lot of ethical issues to sort out.” I wasn’t sure if I should keep talking. Suddenly I didn’t know where I was going.

  “Well, you didn’t say no. You’re still here, talking to me.”

  I felt a crease appear between my eyebrows as confusion set in. Avren had a point. What was I doing here?

  “I think we’re overthinking things.” Avren leaned forward. “We don’t have to fix all our problems in a minute. All we have to do is talk, eat, and enjoy the company. We can worry about everything else later.”

  My mouth dropped open. Worrying later wasn’t how I functioned. I worried right now, and I worried about everything. I didn’t make mistakes. I could tell Avren wasn’t comfortable with his new philosophy, either, but he was suggesting it. Maybe we needed to relax and stop thinking the fate of a world was on our shoulders.

  I should relax. There was no we. And I needed to remember that.

  AVREN

  I could tell Vanessa was uncomfortable with the idea of living for the moment, but she was considering it. Maybe I would be able to convince her after all. Even though she hadn’t intended to come to the restaurant with me, here we were, sitting at the table.

  I gave myself a moment to wonder why before pushing the thought out of my head. I needed to stay focused. Two parts of my personality were both important tonight. The laid back, charming side of me needed to work alongside the driven, goal-oriented side to convince Vanessa to change her mind. My thoughts about Allex were the only motivation I needed. I would do whatever was necessary.

  After a delicious meal and a few glasses of wine, Vanessa and I were getting ready to leave. I felt the evening had been a stunning success. We hadn’t spoken about the job offer at all. Instead, we had caught up like two old friends. It wasn’t hard listening to her talk about her work — everything about her captivated me. As for Vanessa, she seemed interested in me, too. She had wanted me to explain how we had already tried to save our race. When we left, she was questioning me closely about the Auxem men’s pending infertility.

  “Avren, were you able to reproduce the results?” She continued without waiting for my response. “It’s hard for me to believe a virus could affect men and women so differently. Did you look at the data, at least?”

  I hadn’t thought to question the conclusions of our scientists. Ever since we had arrived on Earth, our decisions were based on the idea our men were becoming infertile and would soon be unable to reproduce.

  “They’re not idiots, Vanessa.”

  She frowned at me. “I’m not saying they’re incompetent. But anyone can make a mistake, even us. Madellan, you’re hopeless.”

  I held the door for Vanessa and hoped she didn’t see me starting to blush. She was right. I had taken their pronouncement at face value and hadn’t checked anything myself. I shook my head as I followed her down the sidewalk, making long strides to catch up to her.

  “I think I’m competent, at least.” Vanessa was starting to make me question everything about myself. I was a great scientist.

  Wasn’t I?

  She turned her beautiful head to look back at me with an affectionate smile on her face. The effect was bewitching. The cut-out panels on her shirt were tempting me with bare skin. I wanted to run my hands over her torso. At the idea of touching Vanessa’s naked body, I could feel my thoughts leaving my brain and heading for my cock.

  I shook myself free of her spell and closed the distance between us. “Avren, I know you’re smart, but you really should have peer reviewed them. There could be something sinister going on, too. What if one of them was being paid off?”

  “Why would someone pay our scientists to falsify results?” Even though I protested, I knew Vanessa was right.

  We walked in silence until we reached her apartment building, each of us absorbed in our own thoughts. The endless winds never stopped on Susohn and blew through our already-tousled hair. When we stopped in front of her door, Vanessa turned to face me, looking up at me with enigmatic green eyes that always sent a hint of desire ripping through my body. She stared in my direction before muttering something under her breath. “I don’t know. You look plenty virile to me.” I could barely hear her.

  Was she playing with me? “Vanessa, if everyone had made a mistake it would be fantastic news.” I tried to ignore the sexual innuendo and force the words out as cheerfully as I could. I felt my body light up as soon as I stood next to her.

  Vanessa felt something, too. She reached out and took my hand. Energy flowed between us, and it took everything in me to refrain from pulling her to me and kissing her until she forgot everything she ever knew.

  But no matter how Vanessa looked at me or touched me, I wasn’t going to succumb to her wiles. She loved one thing — her career. I wasn’t going to get caught in her web again. I wouldn’t survive her crushing my heart a second time. I had to remember what kind of a person she was.

  I pulled my hand away. “Goodnight.” I turned away before she could see how much she had affected me with a single touch.

  Vanessa called after me. “Hey, Madellan.” I reluctantly twisted around to look back at her. I didn’t want to hear what she had to say. I knew she wasn’t going to help me. We couldn’t go back in time.

  “Don’t worry. We’ll check the data and make sure their conclusions are correct. We’ll have to make time in between our experiments.”

  I froze. “What did you say?” I couldn’t believe my ears. I had given up hope of ever convincing her.

  “I’ll fix your mistake, Madellan. We’ll save your people.”

  “Do you mean it, Vanessa?” I stood in front of her, not quite sure how I had ended up here.

  “Of course I do. You know I don’t say things I don’t mean. We’ll negotiate the terms and work up a contract tomorrow. How soon can we get to Auxem?”

  “Thank you.” Gratitude filled my heart, and I couldn’t stop myself from picking Vanessa up and swinging her around. She giggled, surprised at my gesture. Her beautiful laugh made me realize I should put her down. As I set her back onto the floor, I kissed her on the forehead, wishing I hadn’t enjoyed myself so much.

  “You don’t know how much I appreciate you. I promise you won’t regret it.”

  “I hope I don’t.” Vanessa looked me in the eyes briefly before walking through her doorway.

  VANESSA

  I dropped onto the couch, trying to calm my heart. What was I doing?

  My rational mind was screaming that this was a bad idea. But there was another part of me I had suppressed for too long, a part that longed for wildness and reckless abandon. I was still thrilled by the way Avren had spun me around and kissed me. It had been on the forehead, but it was a start.

  Was I really going to Auxem with Avren so we could solve a problem of genetics? Maybe. I looked around at my neat little apartment. It had been my home for many years.

  I didn’t feel ready to leave, but it was probably just nerves. When I stopped thinking about what I was leaving behind, excitement filled me. Things wouldn’t be perfect on Auxem, but I needed a change.

  More excitement. More challenges. More Avren.

  Where did that thought come from? I was only going for the work because a friend needed me. It didn’t matter if he made me feel things I hadn’t felt in years, like the tingling between my legs when he looked at me with his gray eyes.

  I didn’t hope anything would happen. Our relationship was all business and strictly professional. My sex drive would have to get used to disappointment.

  Chapter Four
<
br />   VANESSA

  “It looks pretty small.” I stared at the sleek fighter touching down onto the ground. Its downdraft blew up a cloud of sand at the edge of the pavement. “I’m not sure there’s going to be enough room for us in there.”

  Avren didn’t answer me. He had a big grin on his face as he watched his brother Anders and a gorgeous redhead climb out of the ship.

  “Anders, Gwen, this is Vanessa.” He gestured at me. They both shook my hand and murmured a greeting.

  “Vanessa, this is my brother, Anders, and his wife, Gwen.”

  Gwen smiled at me. “Another ginger? I like her already.” Her grin was so contagious that I couldn’t help but smile back at her. “Technically, there’s someone else who you haven’t introduced.” She patted her belly, which I hadn’t noticed was slightly protruding out of her flight suit. “We’re not sure if we’re having a boy or a girl yet.” She glanced apprehensively at Anders. “I’m sure it will be a girl. After all, I’m not a carrier for the gene. I’m not looking forward to their wings developing, though.”

  Gwen clapped a hand over her mouth and glared at Avren. “She knows, right? You couldn’t recruit her to work on the gene without knowing about the wings. Fuck!” She trailed off. Both men gave her a stare that was a combination of amusement and exasperation. She stuck out her tongue at her husband. “I’m like an embarrassing in-law from the wrong side of the galaxy.”

  Avren looked like he was going to burst out laughing. I liked seeing the joy in his heart. Was this what it was like to have a family?

  My mother and I had always been alone. My father had left before I was born. My mother was an only child, and her parents died early. For my entire life, Mom and I only had each other.

  There was an endless stream of boyfriends running through our house, none of whom ever hung around for more than a couple of days. She said they were all jerks, but I knew better.

  Men never stayed. They came into your life for a while and disappeared, like my father. Like Joe, the only boyfriend of Mom’s I had ever cared about. He lived with us for fourteen months. He had carried me to bed every night, pretending to be a Tyrannosaurus Rex, or a bull, or whatever I wanted. I loved him like a father, but he was only passing through my life.

  It only took three months for me to stop asking when Joe was coming home. When my mother finally snapped and screamed that he was never coming back, I understood he was going to be like everyone else. I cried myself to sleep for almost a year before I learned how to harden my heart.

  I never allowed another one of her boyfriends into my life. I was always polite and respectful, but I never cared about any of them. I learned the hard way that men weren’t going to be there no matter how much you loved them.

  There was no way in hell I was going to start anything with Avren this time. He had left me before, and he would do it again. They all did.

  “Calm down, Gwen. Give him a chance to answer.” Anders wasn’t giving Avren an opportunity to speak either. The pair was quite amusing. “She already knew. They were friends before the decree.”

  Avren had told me that his father had issued an edict — the Auxem were forbidden from telling anyone about their wings. After a planet had reneged on their deal to provide women to Auxem due to their wings, they believed Earth was their last chance. He hadn’t wanted to reveal his people’s wings and be rejected again.

  “It was never a secret for me, Gwen. I’ve even been flying.”

  Gwen glanced at Avren for a second and then back at me, waggling her eyebrows.

  Avren mumbled under his breath. “We dated for a while in university.”

  “I see. That was a long time ago, wasn’t it?” Gwen looked at me like she could see through me. For the Auxem, flying with a passenger on your back was practically an intimate act.

  “We’re all business now. Right, Avren?” I tried to help him gracefully ease his way out of the embarrassing situation.

  “That’s right.” He looked at the ship, avoiding my eyes. “Are we ready to go?”

  Anders nodded. “We fueled up before we arrived and we can leave whenever you want. Vanessa, you only have one bag?” Anders held his hand out to take it from me.

  “Yeah, this is it. I’m going to have the rest of my things shipped. I don’t need much.”

  “Maybe it won’t take too long with you geniuses working on the problem.” Gwen looked hopeful as we all walked toward the ship. “I was under the impression it could take some time. It doesn’t seem like something that will be solved overnight.”

  I didn’t want to raise anyone’s expectations unnecessarily. “It’s hard to say. Avren has done a lot of the preliminary investigation already. I have some experience with genetic pain. If we combine our expertise, it should be much faster than working individually, but it might still take a while, assuming we can do it at all.”

  I hoped it was a professional explanation. I couldn’t say I was helping because Avren looked so hot that he could make me wet with a glance. Or if he wanted to, he could probably charm the pants off Earth’s president. The project was exciting and could advance my career.

  Nothing more.

  When we climbed aboard, I realized I was right about the space inside. There wasn’t any. Two chairs occupied the front of the spacecraft, with four monitors facing each seat. Two more seats were in the rear. A curtain blocked off part of the ship. Everything looked smooth, ergonomic, and state-of-the-art. It was perfect for fighting, not traveling.

  I wasn’t going to complain.

  “Vanessa, you and Avren will take the gunner seats at the back. Anders and I fly it from up here.” Gwen gestured to the two seats with the monitors.

  “Good thing we had this baby altered and installed the extra chairs.” Anders patted the wall of the ship fondly and sounded smug.

  “Yes.” Gwen shook her head. “You’re very smart.” She looked at me. “Are you okay back there with Avren?”

  “I’m sure I’ll be fine. How long will it take to reach Auxem?”

  Anders ran his hand over the console as he sat down. “At the rate this beauty can fly, we should be there in six days.”

  My mouth dropped open. Anders made it sound like it was going to be a quick trip. I would be stuck sitting next to Avren in a tiny spacecraft for almost a week. I worried about keeping my distance and staying under control, but then I remembered we were going to have chaperones.

  “We’ll be taking off in about ten minutes.” Gwen didn’t look up from her monitor. “Make yourselves comfortable.”

  How was I supposed to be comfortable sitting next to the man who had broken my heart years ago and who was currently setting my panties on fire with desire whenever he looked at me?

  The flight was going to be many things, but pleasant wasn’t one of them.

  AVREN

  I sat down next to Vanessa and tried to suppress the excitement and happiness in my stomach. Happiness always ended. It wouldn’t be smart if I let myself get used to it.

  On the other hand, I couldn’t deny that having Vanessa next to me again was lifting my spirits. She had agreed to help me, and we were going to work together. For the first time since I conceived the idea to prevent our pain genetically, I thought I had a chance at success. With Vanessa’s razor-sharp mind working on the problem alongside me, I knew we had a good chance at changing Allex’s life.

  Strapping the belts across my chest, I felt Vanessa’s knee touch mine as she settled herself. I didn’t think about the burst of desire I felt from her touch. Our chemistry together shouldn’t matter. I wouldn’t let her step on my heart again. She was trouble, and I had always gone out of my way to avoid trouble.

  The next six days were going to be an exercise in restraint. Auxem men were masters of self-control when it came to sex. We had to be, considering the dire consequences of fucking the wrong woman. My first mate had to be a lady I loved. She would become my bond mate. I would be faithful to her and love her for the rest of my life. If she died or
left me, I would never mate again.

  I could usually handle my urges, but I didn’t know what would happen with Vanessa next to me. She could make my cock hard simply by brushing against my knee.

  Staying calm and professional was easy, except when I was around her. I felt and acted differently in her presence. Being around her changed me.

  It didn’t matter, of course. After the project, Vanessa was out of my life. She had said as much.

  We couldn’t go back to what we had before, no matter how much I wanted to try.

  VANESSA

  We had been traveling for almost five days. I was getting extremely cranky on the tiny ship, but I became alert as soon as I heard Gwen’s tone of voice.

  “What the fuck is that, Anders?”

  He immediately leaned in and looked at her screen.

  My lips twitched. Gwen certainly had an unusual vocabulary. Avren must have noticed my expression. “Starship pilots aren’t known for speaking politely in mixed company.”

  “It looks like a spaceship. Did you notice the trajectory?” Anders sounded confused.

  “No, I didn’t.” Gwen swiveled in her chair to check the object on Anders’s screen. “Goddammit, Anders. It’s heading right toward us.”

  “Why would someone want to intercept us?” I couldn’t help asking the question. It didn’t make sense to me.

  “There’s only one reason a ship would move like that. They must have aggressive intentions.” Gwen started working at her console.

  Anders looked at me. “Gwen’s trying to say that they’re going to start shooting at us.”

  Our ship lurched to one side, and I glanced at Avren, feeling afraid. He took my hand.

  Anders was already unbuckling himself. “Avren and Vanessa, get into the changing room. I’m going to need access to the weapons, and I don’t want any distractions.”

  I scrambled to undo my belt, and we jumped into the new seats. They were smaller and less comfortable than the ones we had just left. I imagined they were only used during emergencies.