Avren: An Auxem Novel Page 4

  “I hope you guys are secure back there.” Gwen was practically shouting. “There’s no time to wait.” Gwen swerved hard to port and pulled us into a tight loop. Avren reached out and turned on monitors that showed us a view from each side of the ship.

  “Are they firing on us?” I felt like I was going to throw up.

  “It looks like it.”

  “Do you think they’ll blow up our ship?” I hated that my voice sounded small and scared. But I couldn’t imagine how we were going to defend ourselves.

  Avren laughed. “Vanessa, we’re going to be fine.”

  I didn’t know why he sounded so sure. I twisted around to get a good look at him. “How do you know?”

  His face lit up with pride. “We happen to be flying with two of the best pilots in the Milky Way. Anders is the only person to have ever beaten our computer simulator.”

  “He beat a machine?” I didn’t believe it.

  “Look it up. There should be plenty of references. Anders always claims he’s great at blowing things up. Today he has a chance to prove himself.”

  I grabbed his hand as Gwen made another evasive maneuver that made me feel like I was going to lose my lunch. I knew Avren believed his brother and sister-in-law could get us out of here, but I didn’t. I was anxious and scared.

  Nothing like this had ever happened to me before.

  “Try to relax.” Avren’s voice sounded soothing. “It will help with your nausea.”

  “How do you know I feel queasy?”

  “If I am, you must be.” Avren squeezed my hand. “Tensing up will only make it worse.”

  He was annoying, but I knew he was right. I took a deep breath and tried to relax my stomach, but it was a lost cause. I looked around for something to vomit into if Gwen pulled off another fantastic move.

  “Gwen, give me ten seconds to get a lock.” Anders was yelling from the back of the ship.

  “Hurry up back there. I don’t want to get shot while you’re taking your time.”

  “Take evasive action. If you could fly straight for ten seconds, it would be easier to shoot, Gwendolyn.”

  “Kiss my ass, Anders.”

  “Gladly, but give me ten seconds first.”

  Avren changed our feed to Anders’s screen. I felt glued to my seat, as the target moved onto the other ship.

  “Come on, Anders.” Gwen was starting to sound worried. “You only need three seconds.”

  “I almost have it.”

  “You’re taking too long.” Gwen had a tremor in her voice. “They’ve launched missiles at us.”

  “Give me four more seconds.” I couldn’t look away from the screen.

  “Four.” She was starting a countdown.

  The target locked and flashed red for a second before Anders lost it. I didn’t hear him swear. It was silent in the ship except for Gwen’s counting.

  “Three.”

  I bit my lip. Anders couldn’t do it. Best pilot in the galaxy, my ass.

  “I need to pull up, Anders.”

  “Wait.”

  “Two.”

  A chime sounded as the screen turned red. Anders fired immediately.

  Our ship lurched upward to avoid the incoming missiles.

  I wondered if our fire was going to kill the people on the other ship. But there wasn’t an explosion or disintegration.

  “We should call emergency services for them.” Anders’ voice sounded as relieved as I felt. “Their oxygen is going to run out in about ten hours.”

  “Are you feeling merciful today or something? What did you do to them?” Avren sounded curious.

  “We used the electromagnetic pulse cannon. It disables the electrical circuits in a ship. I made sure to hit their fuel system.”

  “Have you done this before?”

  “Yep. It’s painless, and I don’t have anyone’s death on my conscience.”

  Gwen stood up and marched to the rear. Her face was red. “Maybe we should call the cops instead. They weren’t firing electromagnetic pulses at us. They were trying to blow us out of space.”

  “We need some answers.” Anders had a frown on his face. “Who was attacking us? And why were they doing it?”

  Chapter Five

  AVREN

  We unbuckled and convened at the front of the ship. Gwen had a hand placed protectively over her belly. The four of us faced each other as the ship flew through the stars on autopilot.

  Gwen raised an eyebrow at me. “Have you pissed off any pirates lately, Avren? The last guys we tangled with were going to sell the women.”

  Vanessa glanced at me, wide-eyed. I gave her what I hoped was a reassuring smile. “No, we’ve managed to stay clear of any pirates.”

  “Who the hell would want to kill us then?”

  “Maybe it was a random raider attack.” Vanessa didn’t want to imagine someone was systematically pursuing us.

  “It’s possible, but not likely.” Anders ran a hand through his hair. “We’re in a well-policed part of the galaxy.”

  “We have two princes on the ship.” Gwen looked at Anders, then me, then back again. “Surely someone must want you dead.”

  I had to say something. “We don’t have enough information. It could be anyone.” I felt frustrated and a little afraid. It wasn’t the first attack on our lives, but we hadn’t anticipated it at all. I liked knowing who was responsible for things.

  Anders pulled back the curtain covering the changing room before speaking. “I think you’re right, Gwen. I’ll get in touch with one of my contacts in the local police force. Avren, send a message to Father’s head of security and let them know what happened. They’ll want to do an investigation themselves.” Anders used his communicator and spoke quietly for a few minutes before returning to us.

  “He’s going to pick them up and see if he can find out anything.”

  “Good.” I gave a deep sigh. “What if they weren’t working alone? How can we be sure we’ll be safe for the rest of the trip?” I looked over at Vanessa. I would never voluntarily put her in danger.

  “We’ve traveled most of the distance already. We’re quite close to Auxem.” Anders gave me a stare that was hard to read, but I thought I knew how he was feeling. We would be going home for the first time in years. The last time we had our feet on the ground of our home planet was one year after the last woman died. It was when our father decided to go searching the galaxy for females to help us repopulate our world.

  Most memories of my childhood were pleasant. Arnon had held the family together after our mother died and our father became preoccupied with matters of state. But there were a few miserable memories, too. The best and worst times of my life had happened at home. I didn’t know how I felt about returning.

  “It’s good, isn’t it? Our trip is almost over.” Gwen looked back and forth between us.

  “Yes, Gwen, of course.” Anders put his arm around her. “But my mom died there.”

  I spoke in a near-whisper. “Everyone died there.”

  “You’re coming back with new women.” Vanessa stared at me, her eyes showing both shock and compassion at once. “We’re going to make a better future. Right, Avren?”

  I nodded. “That’s right. And you’re going to help us.”

  She blushed, and I wished I hadn’t brought up Vanessa’s role. She might not want to be the center of attention. But she nodded. “I’m sure we can do it.” Certainty filled Vanessa’s voice.

  Her conviction gave me confidence and made Anders smile. He could be pretty cocky himself. I’m sure he saw a kindred spirit in Vanessa, who had never met a problem she couldn’t solve.

  “Under the circumstances, Gwen and I should sleep in shifts until we get back...to Auxem.” He had been about to say home but changed his mind. “We shouldn’t bother stopping at any more planets. It won’t be comfortable, but it will be safer.”

  “You’re right. Let’s do it.” Gwen leaned forward and checked a corner of her screen. “We’ll arrive in approximately
twenty-nine hours.”

  “Is that okay with you guys?” Anders glanced at Vanessa and me. “You’ll have to sleep in your seats.”

  Vanessa spoke right up. “It’s fine with me.” If she was afraid of something, she wasn’t showing it; she was good at concealing her feelings.

  “Let’s get to Auxem as quickly as possible. Once we’re on our planet, we’ll have our security staff again.”

  I didn’t know if I was excited about a continuous security presence or not. If they were going to take care of us, it was a good thing, but the guards were stifling. Security had been lighter on our mothership. The closed environment meant we usually knew who was on our ship.

  There had been a small issue with pirates.

  My brothers and I had enjoyed our freedom. We might be in for a rude awakening when we returned to our home planet and its royal duties.

  “It’s a plan, then.” Vanessa clapped her hands together. “Thank you.”

  Gwen and Anders both nodded.

  “Yeah, thanks for saving our lives.” I gave each of them a hug.

  “You would do the same thing for us.”

  Anders was right. I would do anything for my brothers. I would give my life for them.

  The project with Vanessa had to work. If I could do anything to make their lives better and get rid of the agony that came with our wings, I had to try. I wished I hadn’t waited so long to start. I had been afraid Vanessa would reject me again.

  We returned to our seats and began the last leg of a long journey to the place of our birth, back to the planet where Anders and I had lost our mother.

  Home.

  The first sight of Auxem hit me like a punch in the gut. I hadn’t known I was homesick until it came into sight. I watched it approach on the view screen. It was mostly blue but dotted with gray and green land masses spread out evenly across the surface.

  “How are you doing, Avren?” Vanessa was sitting beside me in the other gunner seat. I had been caught up in my thoughts and almost forgotten she was here. I had tried to forget her for many years, but nothing had ever worked. All I needed to do was go home.

  Eventually, I had buried her in my mind as far down as I could. It worked well, except for the dreams.

  I felt my face heating up as I remembered my dreams about Vanessa. I couldn’t control or stop them, and I didn’t want to. In my dreams, we had done all the fucking we could never do in real life.

  Vanessa was repeating herself. What was she asking me? I replayed her words in my head. She had asked me how I was doing.

  “I don’t know.” I tried to think of a better answer, but I didn’t have anything. “I honestly don’t know.”

  Emotions churned inside me, and it was hard to separate them all. Dread, nostalgia, and longing. Underneath them all was happiness.

  I had been happy here, long ago.

  We touched down on the royal landing pad near the rear of the castle. I had forgotten how exquisite the stonework was. The shrubbery and flowers were arranged in a way that felt welcoming. A large staff tended the castle and courtyards in our absence. It seemed like a waste of money to me, but it wasn’t my decision.

  I picked up my bag and prepared to leave. I tried to take Vanessa’s too, but she wouldn’t let me.

  “I can get it myself.” Vanessa hoisted it onto her shoulder.

  “Hey, wait a second. You let Anders carry it onto the ship for you.”

  “I was being polite. I didn’t want to offend your brother by refusing help.”

  “Are you saying you don’t mind offending me?”

  Vanessa looked at me out of the corner of her eye. “I know you’re not offended, Madellan. Things aren’t like they used to be between us.” She didn’t have to remind me. “We’re colleagues. Would you offer to carry a co-worker’s bag?”

  I thought about her question. “Yeah, probably.”

  “What if the co-worker was male?”

  “That’s different.”

  She lifted an eyebrow at me. “It’s not different to me.”

  “I’m from Auxem, not Earth, Vanessa. It’s just polite.”

  “Women are capable of taking care of themselves.”

  “I didn’t mean to imply anything of the sort.” I was starting to feel annoyed. “It’s a sign of respect and admiration. Women should be treasured.”

  “I would be surprised if you felt differently.” Vanessa looked around at the opulence of the Auxem royal palace. “You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.”

  I felt like she wasn’t hearing what I was saying. “That’s not what I meant at all, Vanessa.” I grabbed her shoulders and turned her to face me. “We’ve always revered women, even before we lost them. Women are the mothers of all life. You’re sacred. Don’t you understand?”

  “Sacred?” She looked incredulous. “What are you talking about? Women are just women.”

  “Not to us.” I didn’t know how to explain something she could not understand.

  “Where I come from, you have to earn respect.” She didn’t sound convinced. “You have to achieve something. Mostly, we’re overworked, underpaid compared to men, and still expected to do everything like our ancestors — keep the house, take care of the children, and hold the family together.”

  “Whoa. Wait. Stop!” I held up my hand, but Vanessa was not going to be denied.

  “It can destroy us. Many women who manage to do it all always feel like they’re going to snap.” Vanessa shook her head, her eyes bleak. “I chose not to have a family. My career is important to me. I know I can’t have it all.”

  “Wait a second.”

  “I watched my mother ruin her life trying to be everything to me.” Vanessa ignored my attempts to interject anything into the conversation. “She had to be both parents and the rest of the family, too. She made enough money for all of us to survive.”

  A light breeze blew a few strands of hair out of her ponytail. Vanessa’s cheeks were red with emotion, and her green eyes flashed in anger. She looked beautiful. I couldn’t imagine those things happening to her. Someone should take care of her, help stretch her mind, let her have a family and a career.

  I wanted her to have it all. With me.

  Wait a second. What was I thinking? Vanessa’s career was the most important thing to her. There wasn’t any room in her life for me.

  I didn’t know where to start. “Is Earth like that?” I hadn’t spent much time on the planet. The humans were getting their pollution under control, but the place was overpopulated, and there wasn’t space to breathe.

  “You were there, Avren. Don’t you remember?”

  “To be honest, I stayed on the ship most of the time.”

  “Yes, it’s exactly like that. There’s a reason why all aliens think we’re from the wrong side of the galaxy. Everything I said is true.”

  I couldn’t believe she came from such a barbaric planet.

  “Of course, things are getting better, but it’s not fast enough for me. I worked hard to get out of there. Once I knew planets like Susohn, Auxem, and Vandwa existed, I wouldn’t let myself stay trapped on Earth.”

  “Now I understand why you focused on your career.” I thought she had simply felt the need to prove herself and make enough money to escape the poverty, but there was more to it. “Your job was a ticket off the planet.”

  “Of course. My mom was a single mother with a terrible job. I promised myself I wouldn’t end up like her.”

  “What didn’t you like about her?” I had never traveled so far into Vanessa’s past, and I was mesmerized.

  “Mom was always struggling to make ends meet. She couldn’t choose between her career and me. She had a bunch of boyfriends who never, ever stayed.” The sour look on her face told me something else I had never understood.

  “Is that why you chose your job? Do you think all men are going to leave you?”

  Vanessa looked at me sharply. “I didn’t leave. You did.”

  I held her gaze.
<
br />   “Okay, you’re right, Avren. Everything’s more complicated than it seems at first. But I’ve been telling myself that story for a long time, and it’s been working. Don’t screw things up for me.”

  “What do you mean by working?”

  “It helped me forget you. Can we talk about something else?” Vanessa shifted her weight from one foot to the other, her eyes darting away from mine.

  Why had she needed to forget me? Was it for the same reason I needed to forget her? My heart beat like a drum in my chest. I couldn’t look away from her.

  “This isn’t all about me, Madellan.” Vanessa brought her gaze back to meet me. “You think all women are going to leave you. Don’t start doing any amateur psychoanalysis on me.”

  “Give me a break.”

  Vanessa wasn’t fazed at all. “You watched every woman you loved die before your eyes. It’s not hard to figure out. When you thought I was going to leave you, you ran away. I wouldn’t be another woman abandoning you if you left first.”

  My mind was reeling. What Vanessa was saying was true, but hearing it out loud felt like a slap in the face and a breath of fresh air simultaneously.

  She kept talking. “We both made mistakes and screwed up what we had. It’s okay. We’re over it.”

  Were we?

  I took her hand in mine, looking down at how small and delicate it felt. She was precious.

  “Madellan.”

  It sounded like she was warning me. I met her eyes again in silence, and what I saw made my pulse kick up a notch.

  “Avren, don’t look at me like that.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “We don’t have a chance.” Vanessa pulled her hand away and stormed out of the courtyard.

  Her words hurt, but I felt something growing inside me. A tiny seed of hope had always remained. Even though it was small and fragile, I knew I couldn’t kill it yet.

  We were going to spend at least a year together, no matter how little luggage she brought. I didn’t think there was any way to push it faster. There would be plenty of time to find out where we stood.

  I felt my cock stir at the thought of having Vanessa in my life again. I would show her how a man should treat a woman. She would never have a life as she had described. I would treat her like a queen.